Birthday Box of Memories

Sometimes I really drop the ball on things like Mother's Day and my mom's birthday. I've been getting a lot better with these things though, and was really thinking ahead this year. I had already ordered my mom her birthday gift when one day I was on Pinterest and found a post on a Birthday Memories Gift. After reading about this creative idea, I knew I just had to do it. Even though my mom wasn't going to be having a "milestone" birthday, there was no way I was going to wait a few more years to do something like this for her. I wondered if it was possible to do this in only 3 weeks. After my friend assured me that 3 weeks was enough time to prepare for the gift, I sat down at my laptop and got typing.

I decided to modify the idea a bit from the original post I had read about. The idea was to contact my mom's friends and family and ask them to write a memory (or memories) and either mail or email it back to me.  Because she was turning 51, I was hoping to receive 51 memories and fill a "Birthday Box" with them. Sidenote: It didn't have to be from 51 different people, for example, one person could write 3 different memories. After finding her friend's email addresses in old chain emails and stalking her facebook friends, I sent out messages to everyone explaining the idea and asking them to send me their favorite memory of my mom. I bought a beautiful red and gold paper box at Paper Source in Center City Philadelphia. I had a great time receiving all the memories and conversing with some of mom's friends via email. I also received well over 51 memories! I ended up losing count. After pre-reading some of these memories, there was a general consensus that my mother:

1) Has a beautiful singing voice

2) Is an extremely caring and generous friend

3) Is a very strong woman

4) Knows how to let her hair down and have a good time

5) Has a few memories that her friends were worried I'd read about i.e. "I can't write some of these memories if Allyson is reading these!" (Maybe for next year's birthday, she can tell me what THOSE memories are!)

Originally, my mom was going to spend the weekend with me in Philadelphia, but unfortunately her brother was very ill at the time and she asked me to travel to Altoona to spend time with him and her at the hospital. I arrived on a Friday evening and wasn't prepared for the severity of his illness. At 11:45 pm, it was just the 3 of us in the hospital room and I asked my Uncle if I could give my mom her birthday gift (15 minutes before her actual birthday.) He was very afraid that their other sister would feel left out, so we called their older sister and explained his concern. She reassured him that he could share this special moment with my mother because she has a lot of special moments with her, too. He asked his older sister if she could sing Happy Birthday. She started singing and my uncle started singing with her. For someone who was having trouble speaking, to hear him sing a whole song was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. My mom and I burst into tears and hugged, knowing how special and important this moment was.

When they were finished singing, they hung up the phone and my mom opened her gift. It took her a few reads to understand what was going on and she couldn't believe some of the people that had taken time to write her a memory. She explained to her brother what the gift was and he just kept smiling. Eventually, he fell asleep and mom continued reading all her memories. It took her about an hour to get through them all. Afterward, she told me it was so thoughtful and creative.

Look how young and beautiful my mom is!

I know this one is extremely blurry, but I needed people to see the big laugh!

We slept at the hospital and the next day, the rest of the family came to see my uncle and wish my mom Happy Birthday. That Sunday evening, her brother passed away. His whole family was surrounding him. He will be greatly missed, but I am so thankful he is not suffering anymore. Looking back on that weekend, I know that my uncle taught me compassion that I didn't know I was capable of. And I got to see firsthand just how strong and caring my mother is and I only hope I can strive to be more like her. I am so grateful for our little "birthday party" the three of us got to have, and that my uncle gave my mom the greatest birthday gift of all....one more day with her big brother.

My mom and her brother in the early 70s. He took her on a trip to Ohio and here they are at the Basketball Hall of Fame.

Emily and Joe got Hitched!

 On September 24, 2011, my dear friend from middle school, Emily, married her college sweetheart Joe. In Middle School when Emily and I were going through weird hormonal changes and coincidentally both had to wear back braces at the same time to strengthen our spines due to scoliosis, we were right there together. We had a journal that we would write notes to each other in and pass the journal back and forth to each other in between classes. Emily and I have stayed in touch throughout the years, both going to college in Philadelphia and living in Philly now as well. (Although I am renting an apartment and she and her now husband actually own a 4 bedroom house.) 

Emily is also extremely artistic and every wedding detail was handcrafted herself. From the invitations, to all the little signs, to the large collection of little jars and vases…their wedding was homemade, personal, and beautiful.

 The entire wedding was at The German Society in Philadelphia. Their colors were green and white, and all the bridesmaids chose their own dresses to wear. During the ceremony they encouraged guests to stand up and say any words to the couple. It was a very sweet moment and made the ceremony very special. After the ceremony, guests went downstairs to a German “pub” for cocktail hour while the ceremony room was transformed into the reception. The craft beer (Thanks Joe!) and German appetizers were delicious and it was great to catch up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. An hour later dinner was served, family style!  We passed around big bowls of macaroni and cheese, grilled vegetables, and skewers. The food was delicious and really felt like we were at a big family dinner. Everyone in the wedding party gave a small speech, but the kicker was Emily’s sister Samantha who sang a song she had written while playing the ukulele! It was extremely clever and adorable.

 My friends and I danced the rest of the night away, and were only interrupted once when…duh duh duh……some of the Mummers showed up and played through the reception! It was a terrific surprise for all the guests and something a little different for wedding-goers.

Emily and Joe recently celebrated their one year anniversary where Emily surprised Joe with a trip to Chicago for 4 days. I also must add that they are fabulous hosts and throw the best parties and get togethers...from a crazy New Years, to a relaxing game night, to a delicious Sunday brunch. This is definitely a couple that knows how to treat their friends...and each other.

If you or anyone you know is looking for someone to create beautiful, handcrafted invitations and stationery, please contact Emily at odetorain@gmail.com.

All photography by Brae Howard.

What Does That Have To Do With Theatre?

I have been completely passionate about Theatre since I was 8-years-old and asked my mom what a play and an audition was. She explained it to me and after I expressed interest, took me to our Community Theatre's audition of "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever." I landed a part in the play as a baby angel, walked on stage, spotted my family, waved to them, and although reprimanded by the director, was hooked. I was constantly auditioning for shows at school and our Community Theatre (York Little Theatre), rehearsing, memorizing lines, and working on songs and dances. I would even volunteer at YLT in order to take free classes. Although I still got decent grades in school, I definitely focused on Theatre much more than my schoolwork. There was once a time I would rehearse for my high school musical, then go to YLT to perform a show....homework that night was definitely left on the back burner (sorry high school teachers!) So when it came time to choose a major in college, there was really no doubt in my mind that I would be studying Theatre for the next 4 years. I did really well in college, and know that I am extremely fortunate to have been cast in two mainstage shows as well as a few student directed shows and scenes for the Senior Directing Class.

But when senior year hit, I wasn't getting cast in anything. Part of me knew this was the 'biz and that there were A LOT of talented people at my University. I found myself not really knowing who I was without doing Theatre. After all, when people asked me what one word describes me, I would always say "Actress." If someone asked what my hobbies were, it was "Acting." Not performing really forced me to take a look at myself. Who was I without Theatre? I can tell you that over the past few years, I have been finding out. I love traveling, meeting new people, and learning about different cultures. I love teaching, children looking up to me and relying on me. I love reading, writing, photography, and yoga. I love exotic food, beer, and wine. I love spending time with my friends and family. I love being a girlfriend. I found out that I really do want a family someday (a husband, two kids - a boy and a girl - and a dog.) I've realized I'm ALL of these things and have many goals in life that aren't all affiliated with Theatre. I might not put 100% into photography & yoga, but it doesn't mean that those things aren't a part of me. And even though Theatre hasn't been my whole life over the past few years like it once was, doesn't mean that it's still not a part of my life.

When I returned from Korea, I was fortunate enough to be offered a position as an administrative assistant at an engineering firm. Some people have said to me "So you didn't major in anything real?" and "What does your job have to do with theatre?" To those people, this is what I have to say:

On one hand, absolutely nothing. I can't believe I went to college for Theatre, and am working an 8-5 desk job. But let's be honest here, how many people these days actually have a job in what they majored in? And especially, how many of those people graduated from college around the time the recession hit? I'm not saying that me not acting has to do with the recession, but in general, times are changing. Things are not so black and white anymore.

On the other hand, it has everything to do with theatre. With performing, we are taught to leave our day and personal life at the door, or it will completely effect the way we perform. This can sometimes be an extremely difficult task at work...to constantly be upbeat on the phone to clients, to your co-workers, to your bosses. It is a constant show. And sometimes I fail. Sometimes I fail miserably. In my acting classes, we had many scenes to rehearse with our scene partners. I may not have learned about grandiose business or marketing plans, but I had just as many "group projects" as the business school folk. We had to learn how to work together, as you do in ANY work environment. We learned how to be reliable, flexible, think on our feet, think outside of the box, plus many other skills that I'm sure I don't even realize myself just yet. 

Going forward, I may work professionally as an actress for the rest of my life, I may only do occasional community theatre, and I may never step on a stage again. But I do not regret choosing to major in Theatre during college. I do not regret not really performing over the past few years. Regardless of what happens, Theatre was, is, and always will be a part of me and has taught me so many invaluable life skills. Everything that happens in your life shapes you and I have found even just in my 26 years that everything really does come full circle.